why my dog should teach husbanding

1. He doesn’t ever mind warming my cold feet. He even offers kisses.
2. He’s in great shape.
3. He listens so intensely.
4. He hangs out with me while I do workout tapes. Usually with a boner.
5. Loves chick flicks, weird indy movies, and anything else I want to cuddle up and watch.
6. Likes holding hands.
7. Eats all his food raw, no cooking required.
8. Works hard at his job 9-5, Mon-Fri, making sure my bed doesn’t float away.
9. He thinks I’m the most fabulous person in the world. And will pee on my shoe to prove it.
10. Did I mention how incredibly handsome he is?