wife noun \’wif\
plural wives

  1. A woman who loves you unconditionally, does not ever judge and gives great advice. A woman you admire and look forward to seeing every day. A woman who could recite your medical records and will listen to you complain about the same things endlessly, not because she has to, but because she actually cares.
  2. A person who has lotion that smells nice at her desk for when your hands are itchy.
  3. An expert on the life cycle of an eyelash and holder of other useful bits of knowledge you sometimes need to know.
  4. Brave, tall, striking, and perfectly coiffed.
  5. Sometimes, the only person you want to talk to.

[I wrote this a while ago and never published it. Now it’s kind of sad. The past two weeks have been the longest, loneliest two weeks.]


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